Nothing to wear, fat and upset!

I'm supposed to be going out next Saturday with my hubby to go and see John Barrowman in concert (not everyones cup of tea I know but I love him!).

This will be the first time we've gone out together since we had kids, the last time was about 4 years ago. We've never been too big on going out anyway but it seems a big deal 'cause we havn't had a night out together for so long.

Just upset because i've got nothing to wear. All my fat clothes are the same thing I've worn every single day for what seems like my whole life. I havn't lost enough weight to justify buying new clothes (and havn't got the money) and I'd hate myself in them all anyway 'cause i'm so fat.

Don't know what to do? Sorry I know there's not really any answer but was feeling so bad just wanted to put it out there to someone else.

1. Look at your ticker. Your losing weight - you've made a concious effort to set out to achieve something and you are on your way.

2. Are you sure you've checked through ALL your clothes - chec k drawers that you haven't used for a while and the back of the wardrobe - you may be surprised.

3. I know you say you're skint / cant justify buying new ones - have you got anything like a Primark near you. Spending a few quid on a nice top may make you feel better and you can go out feeling like you've made a special effort.

4. Chin up and read point one again

oh - if it's any consolation at all - I am in exactly the same boat. I have a works night out on Sunday and at the end of the month I have a college night out - that is the real hard one as its younger college mates, so if I wear a skirt, tights & shoes I am gonna look like a frump, but it's one thing wearing jeans to my weekend job or college but not sure about a night out. I have not lost any weight for ages but am totally convinced it will start moving down soon so really not wanting to buy anything as I can't justify the cost or indulgence.

I feel like no matter what I wear i have worn it a million times already and yes the same way you feel that I am going to look huge no matter what I wear anyway.

But and it is a big but.... even if i don't feel comfortable with my size, I am already telling myself that yes I may look huge - but not as huge as I was before and at least I am big but going down, - you have lost over a stone already Starbuck - you are fitter, healthier and slimmer than you were and you will be even more so in the future - so you are still in a better position thatn you were before you started your journey.

I know that's not gonna solve the wardrobe problem - but don't be too disheartened as you have worked to hard to let it get to you - even skinny people have "nothing to wear" days.

I see Stella has beaten me to it lol - much less words too - I have a tendancy to use 50 words when 10 will do lol

Well you know me - jump feet first Yours is much better worded Irnbru

Thanks for your kind words. I know im finally trying to do something about my weight but I suppose i'm just upset 'cause I let me get to this stage.

Do Primark do bigger sizes I don't think i've been in one since I was about 16!

It's not just clothes either, i've only got two pairs of shoes. A pair of 7 year old trainers and a pair of flat sandals that I've worn everyday for about 3 years.

I don't think ive actually gone out to buy something else just for the sake of it for years . I've always had to go and buy a top or jeans because I had grown too big for my other ones.

I've really let myself go and it's just hitting me.

I think Primark do do bigger sizes. I think you should reward yourself for losing over a stone. A pretty top and a pair of shoes to say well done

This might be a bit cheeky of me to ask - but if it was one of the kids and they needed something for an event coming up - would you hesitate? or would you just see it as someone in the family needing something ? sometimes as mum's we put everyone else first - do you have a New Look? they have some reasonable stuff and maybe it's just the boost you need ?

We all have dark moments when we get annoyed at ourselves for letting bad habits develop and realise - but I think we have to get to that stage to get the determination to do something about it - which you have now.

What about Asda - they have some reasonable prices and you have just found out that you have fitted back into those jeans you put on today - will they not do with a new top?

I never thought about Asda - they've got some great stuff in at the moment - a pretty floaty top (from someone who will only wear black lol) and a nice pair of shoes / sandals

I definately put the kids first with everything, I think we all do don't we.

I spent £60.00 last week on shoes for them both, I know silly isn't it.

I'm just having a bad moment, i'm going to pick myself up and get evrything out of my wardrobe and see if I can find something.

I think i'll need to buy some shoes though.

Hi Starbuck

I think Stella and Irnbru have said everything I was going to say.

But I'd like to add.....

YOU LUCKY THING GOING TO SEE JOHN BARROWMAN!!!! He's yummy and has such a fab voice. Even my ten year old daughter likes him - mind you she's only seen him as Captain Jack on Dr Who

I hope you have a great time.

Hayley xx

I don't think it's my hubbys ideal night out but it was my christmas present from him, so he has to go.

I foolishly bought my mum Cliff Richard and the Shadows tickets for Christmas - guess who's got to go with her so I know how your hubby feels

Starbuck - We all definitely know how you feel, you are not alone!! Others have said exactly what I would have said!! I really hope you have a lovely evening and maybe you can find a gorgeous top and pair of shoes that makes you feel a bit more glam without costing the earth from Asda or Tesco. Like you I spend all my time and money on my kids and my hubby and I never go out even for Birthdays/anniversary.

Try to keep thinking positive if you can. You definitely deserve a night out! xxxx

Feeling a bit better as I had a good old rumage around and found an old pair of boots, nice ones that I used to love. Maybe they got mothballed cause they didn't fit round my calves anymore or something, i'm not sure anyway but they fit now and are lovely. Just need to get them reheeled.

Thanks everyone

Excellent - just need a top now.

Nice bunny by the way

That's great news about the boots

Starbuck, to us you have Nothing to wear, are upset and GORGEOUS!

a new top is what the doctor ordered, just something inexpensive which you feel comfortable in, because if you've tried on loads of clothes u already own and dont feel good in them, for your self esteem try to find a new one Try Asda, Primark, Peacocks, Q&S, even New Look, im sure you can find something nice for under a tenner!
if not, you could always try mixing and matching two things which you never thought about putting together, for example, a long sleeved top under a sleeveless top (if theyre both the same colour), or a jacket over a top, or maybe a shirt (shirts are my all time favourite thing to wear cos everyone looks good in them!)

if in doubt, get your boobs out and no one will be looking at your outfit

good luck, let us know what u decide to wear!

oh and have fun with JB!!, hes my guilty secret lol


xx

Thanks everyone, think I will go to town on the weekend and search out a new top. Feeling a bit better about spending something now I know that i've got some shoes to go with it.

Thanks for cheering me up again, I really love this forum everyones so supportive!

Are you still motivated to go and get that top - you'd better be!!

Am going to go to town next week and have a look.

Was thinking of going today but my son had a terrible night sleep and so is being really naughty today! Couldn't face taking him round the shops, don't know what he'd get up too.

noy muh worse than trying to go shopping with a wee one thats tired and wired - hopefully you will get a chance later on in the week.

Got my shoes reheeled and resoled today. I didn't even know that you could get the soles changed. but they look great. £12.95 for everything, not to bad chepaer than buying a new pair.

Just need to find a top now.

So - any joy on the top ?

no top yet, had a quick look in Evans on Saturday when I went to get a new belt (my old one wrapped around me twice) didn't like anything there (too many short sleeves)

Good news on the belt!! That must have made you feel great!!